"My Too Perfect Sons"...

... is the title of a Korean drama series aired on KBS World channel at Astro 303, some time back.

It was not the best drama ever, no, but I was deeply touched by the simplicity and honesty of the story - how an average, working-class family deals with the blessings and challenges of the daily routines, life, love, relationships and values...

It had been a while since I last got hooked on a Korean/Japan-based drama series aired on TV. I just didn't have enough time, especially since started working... Stuck in the office until late at night, no drama was being aired at the wee hours of the night-morning. Thank God for Astro, I guess...?

Anyway, "My Too Perfect Sons" was so compelling to me personally because of the connection I feel with the characters portrayed in the drama... It was like watching bits and pieces of me illustrated so accurately and realistically on the show which was supposed to be fictional... Odd, isn't it?

The story was so "real", it felt "surreal" to me... Here I am in Malaysia and there they were in Korea, yet the similarities are abundant - almost like we are living very similar lives... I guess the world is more globalised than I thought.... Huh! Like I care, though!

But, what attracted me to the drama most was the truthful, sincere and honest portrayal of relationships and the feelings / emotions associated with them - the mother-son relationship, father-son connection, husband-wife communication, girlfriend-boyfriend confusion, friend-friend dealings, siblings rivalry, et cetera, et cetera.....

Nothing really mattered much in those intertwinements, except for the fact that there are always two sides to a coin. Differences make up for similarities where similarities and differences complement each other.

I was so touched with the issues raised in the drama and how they were so very dear and close to me - it was like watching my life stories being depicted on screen...

I think, no matter what happens in our life, we must understand and practise some kind of balance and justice.

To err is human, but there is always a silver lining in every cloud - black, grey or white as it is.

Choose to be happy, and happiness will choose and find you.

why do i like to sleep so much?

In life, we hurt most the people that we love most;

and vice versa, we are hurt most by the people that we love most.

Inilah lumrah kehidupan.

Sometimes, I think, pain is the measurement of love...

and although sleep only brings temporary reprieve, any kinds of relief is better than to face the harsh punishment of reality immediately.

Or at least this is what I believe...

So, do you still wonder why I love sleeping so much?

Sejauh manakah anda akan mencuba?




(this song is especially dedicated to those who have touched me more than they know and yet treat me just so indifferently most of the times.... to those who I've treated that way, I'm sorry, I know how hurtful it is...)

hari ini dalam sejarah: catatan aku sebagai "manusia biasa"

ya, hari nie aku cuma nak jadi seorang "manusia biasa" yang banyak buat salah dan silap dlm hidup. bukanlah maknanya aku ni selama nih 'luar biasa' (itu sgt mustahil sbb aku memang sgt "average" dan "common" di kalangan org2 kebanyakan, malah di kalangan org kesikitan pun), cuma hari ni aku nk lupakan semua peraturan tatabahasa dan ejaan yg sgt gah yg aku cuba pertahankan dlm beberapa blog yg lepas (brapa byk "yg" daa...).

hari nie, aku nk menulis sebagai seorg manusia yg cuma mahu bercerita ttg hidupnya - yg mahu cuba luahkan perasaan x puas hati ker atau prasaan suka ker atau apa2 jer lah prasaan sbb kalo x luahkan prasaan, xkan nk luahkan perah-santan plak kan... HAHAHAHAHA (sendiri buat lawak bodo, sendiri gelak... apa punya org lah...)...

ntah hapa2 btul aku nie... no wonder people say i'm so unpredictable, moody dan gila... huh... mcm lah dlm dunia ni ada manusia yg x gila... gila duit itu gila. gila harta itu pun gila. pastu ada plak gila cinta, gila seks, gila pangkat, gila darjat, gila reta org, gila sempadan, gila raih undi, gila mengundi, gila laki/bini org, gila babi... and even GILA POYO!

(nasiblah... padan muka sapa2 yg baca post nih... ntah hapa yg aku mengarut pun aku x tau)

coz today, i'm juz letting myself loose... not so loose but loose enough to tell you guys that i think i had another sesi perasantan tadi... you know, "syok sendiri". tp bukan psl aku syok dkt org atau org syok kat aku (betapa malangnya nasib aku x mahu pegi syok dkt org pastu ngorat dia... isyk, isyk... malang2) - psl sorg colleague aku yg dh kawin tp mcm nk xtra baik dgn aku plak... yelah, mmglah aku agak baik dgn dia mula2 sbb kesian n dia pun bru tukar jabatan... tp ni skrg nih, aku dh kena "guna" dgn dia byk kali smpi dh naik menyampah n lgsung x suka nk baik2 dgn dia lg.. colleague aku yg sorg lg plak mmg x suka dgn mamat tu trus drp awal, aku ni kira budi-bicara lah sket.. aku x kira lah kalo org nk kata aku prasan lebih2 plak tp aku mmg x suka dah dia baik dgn aku skrg...

yelah, korg pikir sendiri... td ada jamuan raya kat jabatan lain, kitorg dijemput dan kitorg pun pegilah (makan free kan, sapa x nk...)... kitorg pegi berdua, alih2 jumpa mamat nih kat jamuan tue - kira dia nih mmg smpi awal gak lah (dlm kalut kitorg buat keja, smpt plak dia g jamuan tue awal. camanalah x bengang?!)... dia tegur aku n tanya kalo aku nk air - ada ker patut? aku paham kalo dia nk b'basa-basi jer.. kwn aku yg sorg lg tu pun x nmpk isu nya... tp aku x suka bila dia cuma tegur aku n x tegur kwn aku. kalo dh dlm satu jabatan, tegurlah dua2 org kan... (DAN DI SAAT INILAH SAYA MENGAKU YG SAYA AGAK PARANOID)...

pastu, ada sekali sblm tu, dia tegur perfume aku masa tgh b'diri blkg aku... w/pun aku slalu g b'gossip n bitching dgn dia, itu x bagi dia privilege to make me feel like my personal space has been disturbed... tp agaknya mmg mcm ni keja ptd nih kot... kena sosial, mudah mesra dgn org, brulah org nk baik dgn kita... kalo yg pompuan tue, kena gedik2 sket, bru sesuai... HEIH! X KUASA AKU!

sekali pandang, org mesti kata aku nmpk ayu (bukan ayu "cantik" tue, tp ayu "baik", kononnya...)... but there's nothing sweet about me, bebeh! i'm an ice queen, and i like it that way.

sbenarnya, aku pun x paham napa aku nk citer psl nih padahal aku bleh jer citer psl kebengangan aku dgn bos aku atau mak aku atau adik2 aku... atau mungkin citer psl 2 ekor kucing adik aku yg sebenarnya SGT COMEL tp menyakitkn hati sbb perangai nyer mcm tuan dia (Adik aku lah tue!)... atau apa2 je lah...

why this story? KENAPA?

maybe because it's so trivial that it can't be a significant part of my life but i have learned much from these few experiences. u see, i have never ever been in a romantic relationship wit the opposite gender (hell, i dont even have that too many friendships wit them either!)... x pernah couple atau diajak b'couple, x pandai b'kwn dgn laki lah kesimpulannya... tp pengalamn2 yg sikit yg aku ada psl laki byk bantu keputusan aku dlm sebrg perhubungan sesama atau berlwnan jantina.

hai.... pelik btul manusia nih kan?

and, yes, I'm a freak. ^_^

~ TribUtE to Paige ~

Kerana kamu, aku coretkan kata-kata itu di sini, biar semua tahu dan mungkin kita boleh saling berkongsi? (tapi ada sikit penambahan di bawah ^_^ )

"Aku dah bekerja.

Aku boleh drive.

Tapi aku masih di sini - tinggal dengan mak aku sendiri.

Apa nilai kedewasaan kau?"

Life is just a Wheel...

It goes round and round and round and round and round.... without ever stopping at any times under any circumstances - and certainly not for anyone at all.

It was during Ramadhan this year that I realised how painfully true this mocking of the Life's usual monotonous routines are. It was like watching the same old movie over and over and over again, and you get tired of it but you can never really let it go - you can't really stop watching it just like that.

When I went to my school reunion-cum-buka-puasa this year for the second time, it was suddenly very clear to me that I had experienced pretty much the same things over the past year as I had in the year before. And it was very devastating to come to such knowledge and be caught unaware.

It made me realised how little I had progressed and developed as a person - how my miserable life is not really as miserable if I had only strived to become merrier and thus much happier.

It is quite sick actually, you know, to have to bear the truth that you are still stuck at that same spot in your life where you have not been able to escape. I was not exactly wrong to say and believe that "time will (and could) heal all wounds", but, boy, even when time flies so quickly, you just want to heal faster! And definitely, I want to achieve a higher level of living in this one year's period of time.

Rotating around the past cannot be an option.

But, why, oh, why is there still a hollowness inside?