C-c-c-cOOL

Ko nie memang peliklah, manusia!

You act so indifferent towards him and yet you say you suffer because of him. You are such an indecisive and selfish bitch!

How could you say all those things that you did, after all that happened (and not), and then just pretend like it's none of your business and turn your face away? It's very cruel of you.

Nampak gayanya begitulah... I am myself quite surprised by my own responses (or even reactions) when I bump into him once in a while. It's as if I never ever had any kinds of feelings for him, as if I never fell hard in love... as if we were ONLY friends (to me and in my mind too)...

Maybe that's just my way of dealing with things - my emotions and all, my unique way of handling myself. It is a delicate situation for me, so the best way to protect me from getting hurt again is to act as if nothing ever happened.

And it works.

I don't know for how long but I'm okay with this arrangement for now.

Let Allah reveal further or otherwise.....

Honestly, I don't really care anymore.

I DON'T WANT TO CARE.

I'm cool.

I'm just cool with it.

Even if I search diligently for him when he's not around...

Even if I treat him apathetically when ever I see him.

Even if I always contradict myself in thoughts, emotions and actions when he's around (or not!).

Seriously?

I'm cool.