MARAH

marah.

aku mmg marah.

tp bukan dgn org lain… (w/pun ada yg m’jd tenaga/faktor penyumbang)

sebaliknya…aku sgt marah dgn diri aku sendiri. byk sgt sbb munasabah utk aku marah diri sendiri, antaranya:

1-keja aku x siap2 n dh lama sgt tangguh… x lama lg kalo bos marah2, cuma aku yg b’salah kan? (tho’ it doesnt hurt if they’d make it less harsh )

2-aku semakin ‘kurang sopan’ dgn mak aku sendiri…. n kurang prihatin t’hdp adik2 aku … n lupa utk m’doakan ayah aku (memang anak x sedar diri!)

3-aku t’lalu self-centerd n self-obsessed... mcm dh xde org lain dlm dunia ni melainkan aku… (tolonglah! org lain pun ada masalah msg2… diorg xde heran pun dgn kisah hampeh aku suka atau tidak pd org)…

4, 5, 6, 7, 8…… dan seterusnya… t’lalu byk sbb kenapa aku marah dgn diri aku sendiri sejak kebelakangan nih… smpi aku pun dh x larat nk senaraikan kt cni….

ntahlah… tp aku PLG BENGANG sbb aku x dpt kontrol kesukaan aku pd TIDO n kebodohan aku lembab nk catch up blaja driving…. i mean, wut kind of stupid idiots would be so lame as not able to control itself on those matters? well, i guess one of them is ME

i really hoped not to think so negatively of life rite now - it doesnt help esp. when u r feeling so damned low n mad at urself for a lot of thgs dat u wish u could change in the blink of an eye BUT it’s never meant to be… n also when u feel like running away is d best option to do BUT u juz cant coz u r tied up wit all those social ties n responsibilities - obligations dat keep u running… wish dat u could juz dream them away - BUT no, dat cant do.

sedih pun ada bila kita rasa yg kita sbenarnya nk marah kt org lain TP x bleh sbb hakikatnya kita yg b’salah m’biarkan org lain m’pengaruhi hidup kita. apalah nk jd dgn aku nie? depression agaknya… mcm org dh x btul…

but is HUMAN ever a SANE entity?

- for ALL dat has taken place

in this whole wide world

during all these times

-d good-

-n d bad-

-d truth-

-n d lie-

-d blessing-

-n d curses-

-d bliss-

-n d tragedy-

-d hope-

-n d pain-

ALL in ALL ~

only caused by none

but ONE -

- HUMAN’s MADNESS n crazy nature.

marah ku mungkin hilang…perasaan b’campur-baur… tp ya Allah, jgn lah istiqamah ku hilang bersamanya - aku ingin pulang kepadaMu di bwah lembayung redha Mu ….

WAllahua’lam bissawab

November 6th, 2008 at 9:42 am