it’s kinda funny.
the way everythg is most of d times…
i havent met my former secondary schoolmates for quite some time now… i think it’s been 5 years or so… that was when i decided that - yah, i should let go of my past, BUT i shouldnt run from it! coz i’ve been trying to find n be the REAL me so hard that i forget how MY pASt has a contributing factor in my life rite now. so, i went to the gath wit my dearest frens and met my other dearest frens at Cerana Seafood in Cheras last Saturday.
it was kinda cool coz i was quite excited to know how everybody turns out. (plus d place was near maktab polis cheras where i did my police module for dpa 1/2008 - it felt very funny ^_^) it seems like i was d only least glamorous person there - not that i mind coz i’ve never really felt like i belong to those “glamorous” groups. it’s juz that i wish that everybody - inc. myself - could be more open and friendlier wit everyone else at that moment.
we havent seen each other for a while, so i was kinda hoping that EVERYONE would be EXCITED to see EVERYONE - but, NO, i dont think that’s d case. it juz proves One THG n ONE thg onLY - high school never ends… sad, isnt it? 
but i did enjoy my time coz most attendees were very good frens of mine. so we chit-chat n talk n gossip n joke around n eat very little (coz it was supposed to be a buka puasa event, but we juz couldnt eat that much! 
hmm). n i believe evryone was happy
n then i promised myself that i would stick to d resolution that i made for such a long time but never have i realised it until now - to be HAPPY ON MY OWN first b4 anythg else. that’s y i couldnt figure out how i’m still stuck on this “uncertain-what-its-name-is-but-too deep-in-my-heart” feelings. i’m so SAD coz i’ve been going on like this for quite some time now - wanting and trying so hard to let go but it keeps coming back to haunt me …
i can see the facts and figures clearly with my rationale and conscience, but my stubborn heart wont n dont want to listen. it’s as if it has a mind n life of its own. d ONLY BIG Q in my mind n heart rite now - Y?
but i’m very thankful for this experience - too grateful indeed. i learn to see d beauty n positiveness of life, learn to appreciate d thgs i have n d people whom i love n love me back unconditionally. i become d person who seeks d good in people (though my alter ego, DARIA, is still very much a strong part of me)… i teach myself to be happy for no particular reason but juz simply to control my moods and emotions…
i PRAY n HOPE that i’m becoming a better person everyday…
FOR
- though PAIN is MY middle name
- it sits quietly
- in between UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
n SERENE HAPPINESS.
THUS
- i treasure d BAD
- to appreciate d GOOD…
^_^
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